Education of Simon Lane Page 8

  Chase hit him again, rendering the blow that brought stars to his eyes. Any second Simon knew he would be facing darkness. He gave up, slumped back and Chase let him go. Simon’s head hit the floor with a thump, jarring his tongue against his teeth. He closed his eyes and knew without a doubt that he had to close his heart too.

  How could he have done such a thing?

  How could she care?

  How?

  Simon knew he would never see Lilly again. He would never hurt her again. She would be free of the monster that owned his soul.

  Lilly would be free.

  He gave into the blackness that had been his life before her.

  He gave into the blackness that would be his life again.

  Chapter Eight

  Present Day

  “Have a seat, Lillian.” Millicent motioned to the chair opposite her desk. Forty-eight hours had passed, and today was the first opportunity she had for a real sit down with Miss Rouilard. Millicent was glad Lilly had put her off as long as she had. It gave her time to realize her first reaction to the situation was impulsive.

  Thinking about it, her original idea to lay her cards on the table and hope that, as a woman, Lilly would understand, was not only stupid, but also potentially dangerous. If Parker Crane had any inkling of what was really going on, if he discovered Millicent’s secret, all hell would break loose and Parker would not be at all forgiving. She hoped her new plan would keep Lilly away from Simon.

  It was simple. All she had to do was remind Lilly of Simon’s greatest sin.

  Millie signed deeply.

  “Is something wrong?” Lilly stilled briefly and glared at Millicent.

  She glared right back at Lillian. Perfect. Millicent could see why Simon was so enamored with her, even if he refused to admit it. Dressed impeccably in a simple red sheath made for skinny little women in need of a meal, her golden brown skin, free of flaws, had a healthy glow. Millicent wanted to scream.

  Shit! Did this woman have any faults?

  “Millicent?” Lillian shifted under Millicent’s scrutiny and arched her left eyebrow, questioning.

  Millicent arched her eyebrow. “Of course not, I’m just waiting for you to get comfortable.”

  Finally seated, Lilly slowly removed her gloves and placed them atop her Louie Vuitton handbag, which rested casually at her feet. Millicent sank down further in the oversized chair, and rested against the smooth leather.

  “Can we get this over with please?” Lillian smirked.

  “I beg your pardon?” Of all the nerve, Millicent thought. The only sound in the room was their breathing and the hum of the overhead fan that hung above Millicent’s desk. Her future well-being was literally on the line, and this woman had the nerve to give attitude. That snobby manner Lillian was projecting would make Millicent’s job easier and the guilt she was suppressing easier to control. Stay in bitch mode, Lillian. Millicent smiled inwardly at the thought. Make this disgusting task easier!

  Lillian had to be neutralized.

  “I’d like to get this over with,” Lillian repeated, breaking Millie’s chain of thoughts.

  Bitch! Millicent thought. She had always felt inferior to women like Lillian Rouilard and her cousin Jamie. They were perfect, and they always won in the end. Millicent had always been the sloppy seconds and the biggest loser.

  “Yeah, sure. How much do I owe you?” Millicent reached for her checkbook and flipped it open. Lillian brought an invoice from her bag and handed it to Millie, who in turn reached for her glasses and pretended to read through it.

  “It’s a rough draft but accurate, I assure you.”

  “Oh, I have no doubt that the figure is correct. I just want to make sure…”

  “I still don’t understand why you insisted we do this now. You could have mailed me a check or done a wire transfer. I would greatly appreciate it if you’d speed this process along.”

  “I don’t think I like your tone.” Millicent tossed the invoice on her desk. “Why are you being so snippy toward me?”

  “If you would just write the check, my unpleasant disposition and I will be out of your life forever.”

  “Now I am positive I don’t like your tone. Do I need to remind you that I did absolutely nothing to you?”

  “No, but your fiancé did. Let’s get this over with, please.”

  “I was wondering how long it would be before you mentioned my Simon. You’ve been itching to broach the subject from the moment you arrived. Okay, Lillian, let’s have it. I’m all ears.”

  “I didn’t agree to this meeting to discuss Simon. Will you please just write the damn check so I can get the hell out of here?”

  “You are still running, Lillian.”

  “Ah…I gather Simon has given you his spin of our past. Why else would you have referred to me as Simon’s Lillian? Look, if you are concerned that I have any thoughts whatsoever about Simon, forget it. Rest assured that I am not in any way interested in your fiancé, except maybe to see him dangling from a tree gasping for breath.”

  “Careful Lilly, such vehement hatred may very well be misconstrued as caring.”

  “Not a chance.”

  “But still, thou do protest too much, and with such passion.”

  “This meeting is over. You have my address.” Lilly gathered her bag and then stood abruptly. “Mail my check. Goodbye, Millicent.” Lilly stalked toward the door.

  “Wait, I’m not finished!” Millicent followed closely behind her.

  “We have nothing left to discuss.” Lilly turned to face Millicent.

  “But we do.” Millicent crossed her arms. “Simon and I have a problem now. I’d go so far as to say our engagement may not weather your reemergence on the scene.”

  “Don’t drop him on my account.” There was no sincerity in Lilly’s tone, it was mocking and full of sarcasm. “But if you do, well, I wish I could extend my condolences for your dreams going up in smoke, but I can’t. I have an overwhelming urge to congratulate you. Even you deserve better than him.”

  “I’ll store that comment in the back of my mind for now and we’ll revisit it later. Our discussion will center on Simon, not your opinion of me. We have a lot of ground to cover.”

  “The talk will be one sided because I’m leaving.” Again, Lilly reached for the door. When it was a quarter way open, Millie’s palm landed squarely on the wood surface and the door slammed shut, an echo resounding in the room from the force of it.

  “Are you out of your mind?” Lilly screamed at her.

  “If you attempt to leave this room again, I will give you the ass whipping that you fantasized Simon gave you years ago.”

  All Lilly could think was, this bitch is crazy. She stepped away from the door, but her eyes never left Millie’s, who was watching Lilly just as carefully.

  “Look Millicent…I have no designs on Simon. He’s yours. If I ever see him again, it will be much too soon, thus my desire to get the hell out of here. Trust me, he is all yours.”

  “He’s not mine, and it’s entirely your fault!”

  “Is this going to be one of those fatal attraction things?”

  “Don’t flatter yourself, and don’t use that uppity, snobbish tone with me.”

  “Millie…we both should calm down,” Lilly took a step back for each step forward Millie made. Eventually Lilly’s back connected with the wall and there was no place else for her to go. Millicent stood rigidly with her hands stuffed in the pockets of her fashionably chic dungarees, glaring daggers at Lilly.

  Shit! Shit! Shit! Lilly thought in rapid succession.

  “Simon loves you,” Millicent said.

  “If he loved me, we would not be having this conversation, because there never would have been you in his life. Look Millicent, I’m sorry. Really, I am, but this is not my fault.”

  “Yes it is. Did you know about me and Simon when you took this job? Were your intentions to create problems for me and my fiancé? Do you want him back? Did you think I’d just step as
ide and let you have him?” Millicent sounded as if she were on the verge of hysterics.

  “Millicent…” Lilly’s eyes followed Millicent’s movement. She watched Millie jab her right hand into her pocket. Shit, shit, shit! Lilly hadn’t noticed the budge in Millicent’s trousers before. Millicent was the embodiment of style and grace, and having an object that interfere with her look was totally uncharacteristic.

  Lilly swallowed audibly.

  “Are you wondering if I am clutching a gun or a knife in my pocket? Are you scared Lilly?”

  “You’re crazy.” Lilly pushed Millicent. “And your perception is screwed, Millie. How many times do I have to tell you that there is no future for Simon and me? How could there be?”

  “You’re referring to that night, aren’t you? Ever heard of safe words?”

  “I don’t give a damn about safe words. Our lack of a safe word is just another checkmark in the Simon-is-an-asshole category. Are you seriously standing here, defending him and what he did? You’re sick! Someone needs to teach him —”

  “You already have! He’s been educated, Lilly, time and time again. But of all he’s been schooled in, your lessons are superior. They are implanted so firmly around his heart, that even if he wanted to be free of you, he couldn’t. He’s paid for that night for the last ten years, you dimwit!”

  “What did you call me?”

  “Stay focused, little girl. Are you happy? Are you, Lilly?”

  “Okay, crazy lady…this time I am leaving. I am walking out that door, and my hand to God, if you try to stop me, I will hurt you.”

  “Right,” Millicent patted her pants pocket.

  “Damn right, and believe you me, I will enjoy every minute. So if you have a gun or a knife in that pocket, pull it out now, because that is the only way you will be able to stop me from leaving. But I warn you, don’t miss, because I will hurt you if you do. I mean it, Millicent; get the hell out of my way. Now!” Lilly brushed past her, intent on getting out of the room, out of the building, out of Chicago, and as far from Simon Lane

  and Millicent Rogers as humanly possible.

  “Just like Simon.” Millicent said.

  Lilly stopped cold and turned again to face the blonde.

  “Nothing that happens between you and me could ever compare to what Simon did to me. It’s not quite the same, dumb ass.”

  “We’ll discuss that phrase later, as well. I’ve told you, stick to the subject at hand. He told me everything about that night. That’s why, Lilly, I find it hard to believe that you are considering forgiving him.”

  “And just what makes you think I would ever do that? Why would I want a man who treated me like that? Get that through that bleached-blonde brain of yours!”

  “My hair is natural, and if it weren’t, commenting on it has no relevance in our discussion. How did your decision come about? Did you just wake up one morning and decide, Gosh, Simon assaulted me, but what the hell. I want him anyway. How do sick women like you make such decisions?”

  “Oh, my God, you are in need of serious help.”

  “No, you are, because you’re standing here lying like the spineless little bitch you are. You’ve forgiven him, haven’t you? You’re not the first woman to give in to her heart’s desire and invite her rapist back in her life, and you want be the last.”

  “You’re unbelievable!”

  “Oh, I am sure you’re disgusted by the feelings your mind and body are in disagreement on. You want him. It was all over your face the other day. I saw the way you looked at him. You actually had the fucking nerve to tremble! All this sanctimonious rage you’re employing pales in comparison to the heat between you and my fiancé the other day, and that heat has the potential of leaving me out in the cold!”

  “Millicent —”

  “I imagine the only thing keeping you from him is the stigma society places on sick, twisted women like you! How long before you truly abandon all sense of decency? I know deep down you’re jumping at the chance, and when you do, I will be the loser.”

  “Calm down, Millie.”

  “Don’t you dare condescend to me,” Millicent shouted. “Truth be told, if your dear friend, that nosy bastard, Chase Crown Mar, had not come into the room, if there had not been a witness to Simon’s assault of you, the two of you would have never separated, because you are just that kind of sick, twisted individual.”

  “Are you serious?” Lilly stood speechless, astonished by what she was hearing. Was this crazy bitch for real? Was she really so dense?

  “Deadly. How the hell am I supposed to compete with a bitch that’s risen from the dead? From the dead! How do I compete with that miracle? Throw in your forgiveness of the worse type of crime a woman can endure, and I don’t stand a chance of holding onto him. But I will not make it easy for you.”

  “Go to hell!”

  “You first,” Millicent fired back. She flung the check toward Lilly.

  “Thanks. I’ll be leaving now, and you have a great life, lady.”

  “One final observation,” Millicent circled around the desk. “You’ll play the game most women in your position engage in—string him along—which gives me the dubious pleasure of sitting back and watching. But don’t count on it, Lilly. I’m not going to sit idly by and play the waiting game. Frankly,” Millicent sat down and crossed her legs, “from where I’m sitting, I am the better woman for him. To date, he’s never had to fight me for it, never had to slam my ass around and force himself on me. You want to know why? Because I don’t play stupid, childish games like you did. I’m a grown woman, and you are obviously still a silly little girl. So fuck you. Hell will freeze over before I make it easy for you.”

  “I swear, when I walked into this office, the only thing on my agenda was picking up this check.” Lilly waved it at Millicent. “But now…let’s just say you’ve got serious issues and a strange way of fighting for what you think is yours. I don’t scare easily, and I don’t respond well to threats.”

  “It’s not a threat it’s a—”

  “Yeah, I know. It’s a promise. Millie, you’ve given me a lot to think about. Now here is something for you to ponder late at night, when Simon is nowhere to be found, and your over active imagination starts to run wild, thinking he may be with little old me.” Lilly enunciated her words deliberately.

  “And that would be?” Millicent took the bait.

  “He just might be, with me I mean.” Lilly’s retort was crisp, accompanied by a smooth, bitchy laugh. “Your premature declaration of war is duly noted.”

  “Just as long as we understand one another.” Millicent visibly stiffened.

  “Oh yeah, we understand one another perfectly. You should have left well enough alone. If Simon knocks on my door, after this meeting, I’ll be hard pressed to turn him away. You should understand what I mean, considering how spiteful you are. I wasn’t after your fiancé, Millicent. Too bad you just gave him away.”

  “Get out!”

  “Finally,” Lilly exclaimed, “we agree on something.”

  Chapter Nine

  Two days. It had been two days since Simon walked into his home, only to be greeted by Lilly’s presence. He had managed, to his credit, to avoid her, that is, he quenched the need to see her. It was difficult. His body was besieged by a constant arousal, because his thoughts were centered on her.

  After a late breakfast with Millie, Simon did what he had done for the past two days—he lied to his fiancé and assured her everything was okay. Then he left the house, repeating yet another lie that he had a meeting or work to attend to. The imaginary drive to and from Chicago justified the late hour he would return home. Work was the last thing on his mind. In fact, he always found himself in a bar or pub in Indianapolis, nursing a scotch and water, thinking about Lilly and wondering if she thought of him.

  Simon drove around aimlessly, debating what he wanted to do compared to the right thing to do. It was still early, barely four in the afternoon. He floored the accelerator of his B
MW and headed toward town.

  Several hours after leaving Millicent, he found a small jazz club in downtown Indianapolis, complete with a piano bar, and nursed his third drink, brooding. The ambience of the establishment perfectly fit his somber and melancholy mood.

  “Can I get you anything else, anything at all?” Simon looked up to find the waitress staring down at him. She was pretty; gorgeous with long red hair and a killer body. The smile she gave him was an invitation. Simon weighed his options—to bed her, or not to bed her. Her body language definitely spoke volumes, but his body was deaf to the age-old dance. Despite her very provocative stance and suggestive question, his dick lay silently between his legs unmoved by her blatant proposition.

  Not even a twitch.

  He prodded his unconscious cock by use of explicit imagery of nailing her ass from behind while twining a handful of her long red hair in his hand until he came, but the vision had little to no significant effect. Simon tried another tack to jolt his member’s interest and raise him from the self-imposed coma.

  “Not if it’s more of the same. I don’t do normal.” He leaned back in his seat and winked. “What do you suggest to whet my appetite?”

  “I’m sure I can provide you with something unique.” The woman’s voice dropped an octave while her eyes widened. “Interested?”

  “Maybe,” Simon replied coyly. “It depends on what all would be available on the menu, if you know what I mean.”

  “My friend Beckam likes to party.” She nodded toward the bartender who was watching them with an intensity that was familiar to Simon. “His name suits him, don’t you think?”

  “Beckam,” Simon was confused as to what she was alluding too.

  “Yeah, it’s really Beckman but he goes by Beckam. He looks like the hockey guy.”

  “Soccer. David Beckam is a soccer player, sweetheart, not hockey.”

  “Whatever. They favor each other, right? He’s very handsome, very interested and he doesn’t do normal. Actually, you were the topic of conversation between Beckam and me from the moment you walked in. He called dibs on you, but just from the way you walked, I figured that if you party like that, a third definitely would be included. What do you say? I think you’ll find that you and Beckam have a lot in common.”